The spider of MH370

IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!! If you take the time to read my entire theory on the disappearance of MH370 I will more than appreciate your personal time I'm borrowing and there is nothing more important to me than compensating you by paying you back with an interesting story. It turns into a extraneous theory of mine, but gets interesting in the end. Remember, as dumb as it seems, I promise you I'll make it all up to you in the end.

 

The latest discovery of a passenger jet's flaperon and other barnacle covered debris recently discovered on a beach of Reunion Island has the world at the edge of their seats for answers. What happened to MH370 has to be the most modern mystery of our era. Conspiracy theorists have taken all kinds of jabs at it like, "One of the pilots was suicidal" and  "The airliner was shot down" and my favorite one of all: "The airline was abducted by aliens". We don't mean to laugh at these crazy theories. But mine has got to be the best one out there. And most definitely worth a good laugh.

 

Who the hell am I?

 

I was a private investigator for less than a year back in 2007...that job sucked big time. I lasted longer as a volunteer firefighter. All it primarily was, was filming workers' compensation claimants. I don't mean to fly you off the radar here, but proving a point is important to me. I filmed things you would not even dream about as I sat in my car dripping to dehydrating death-sweat...waiting...for the claimant to exit his or her house----so I can film an alleged sprained arm opening a mailbox; to a claimant who claims he or she is in so much pain and can't get out of bed; I filmed chopping down an oak tree on one of them under-the-table-cash-paying jobs you find on craigslist. I have to admit that I was great at this job. I suck at just about everything else. I provided the client----the insurance company-----minutes of recorded documentation to prove that the claimant draining their hard working money is a LIAR! and a THIEF! and ..."IF"... I'm having a really good day; I might solve a hit and run by the claimant, turned CRIMINAL! ....A crime within a crime. Bet you never heard that one. I had a good childhood life raised by the best parents to have. I have an average IQ around 119. I was arrested at seventeen and my future endeavor of being a police detective became a lullaby.

 

Now back to MH370

 

What my "hunch" tells me, I'm a fan of conspiracy stories...but I highly doubt a conspiracy is responsible for the disappearance of this flight. Was it an accident? Maybe.

 

-NO! The plane was NOT shot down!

-NO! The plane was NOT hijacked and forced to crash into the Pacific.

-NO! The plane did not run out of fuel, no fire ignited onboard, no crazy passenger opened a window, the front passenger door, or climbed out the little window and onto the wing and cut one of the wings off with a nail file. NO! NO! NO! NO! ....on all that nonsense. Okay, maybe the theory about aliens abducting the plane is true...you are not amused are you?! ...Okay, No more B.S.! ...Are you ready?

 

.....a spider did it! 

 

Now before you say, "What an asshole..." x-off and go on to something else. I knew that by posting this it would look incredibly ridiculous and down right embarrassing to myself. And make me a sick, sick person too, but I sincerely mean it. No mater how many blogs, theories or police investigator theories you read about, you'll never read a story like mine. If someone told one of the victims' family members this they'd probably get their nose busted. I have nothing but respect for the 239 missing passengers of this flight. And there is absolutely no reason for a hijacking to take place, or an insane passenger on board, or any of that nonsense. All the passengers and pilots were investigated and Interpol----to the Malaysian authorities----to the FBI found these passengers to be very down to earth people who you could hang out with and enjoy life with. ALL 239 of these people were better than me. I'm a piece of trash compared to these victims.

 

Why a spider?

 

Google key words: "Homeowner in Seattle burns down house trying to kill a spider".

 

After reading most of the news stories I researched "Arachnophobia". It's amazing how frightened people are of spiders. Not buying it yet are you? Well, if you were sitting in your car and noticed a Poecilotheria run across your dash and down onto the radio controls what would be your response? Pull over off the highway? You'd try to smash it as quickly as you can and without any luck eventually pull off to the shoulder. What's going to happen while you are trying to kill that creepy thing? You'll hit the channel switches, knock your turn signal into action, and absolutely splash your coffee you had stationed in your console all over the place. You don't want the freakin' thing to bite you. Now let's go back to the cockpit of MH370 and what is proven so far.